I found a few accounts that spoke to my Blackness, but they are few and far between. All the books and Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter accounts are mainly geared to white straight-sized women. I knew the treatment was insufficient and that I needed treatment that spoke to my Blackness, and all that I needed with a holistic approach. I knew I was missing something in my treatment I just did not know what. I was struggling in eating disorder therapy. I discovered because of the anti-Blackness of diet culture and messaging about body image, the treatment model for disordered eating for white women is inadequate for Black women. The perception those with an eating disorder or disordered eating can be treated the same way as each other is misguided. I turned to an eating disorder therapist, and she had some good core information and support but I found her limited in her whiteness. How I loathed the skin I was in, and the self-hatred dictated how I coped in the world.Īfter discovering that I was a victim of diet culture and anti-Blackness, I began to search for help to cope and overcome what I was brainwashed to believe about myself.
What I did not realize was how damaging all this assimilation was, and how challenging it was to my mental health.
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